Jamaica: Learning to Lead from a Place of Faithfulness

Welcome to my blog!!

It has been over two months since I left home! Every time I found a free moment to write, I seemed to get pulled in a different direction. So, I'm going to try to summarize what God has been doing and give you a glimpse into the last couple of months. It's been a while, so bear with me!

Training camp was new and challenging. I quickly found myself carrying expectations that I had created for myself. I wanted to get to know everyone deeply, especially my teams (leadership and racers), and to be known by them. I wanted to be there for everyone, walk in intentionality with both old and new friends, and quickly master all my new squad leader responsibilities. As you can imagine, these expectations were unrealistic and impossible to meet perfectly.

It made me ask: Why do I so often strive to meet my own expectations and walk in perfection rather than simply asking the Father what He expects of me?

My heart behind it all is good, but what I was missing was sitting at His feet and asking Him what faithfulness actually looks like. I could do everything in my own strength, according to what I think is best, but that isn't what I want to strive for. I want to lead from a place of faithfulness and obedience, not my own expectations.

The reality is that I can only do what He has laid before me. Anything beyond that is striving in my own strength, and eventually, I'll burn myself out. So I've been asking God, "What are Your expectations of me? How can I pursue excellence in a healthy way?"

His invitation has been simple: take up His light yoke and easy burden.

As I begin to embrace this way of living, I find myself letting go of my own desires and ideas of what excellence should look like and simply learning to behold Him. Instead of constantly focusing on where I'm falling short, I'm learning to keep my eyes on Him. I'm also incredibly grateful for the team He has given me, people who hold me accountable and call me higher to whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise (Philippians 4:8).

He has been so kind and patient with me as I learn what it means to live as His daughter, rather than striving to become someone He never made me to be. He's teaching me what healthy dependence on Him looks like, especially as I step into a new season of leadership.

So, with that little glimpse into what He's been teaching me, let me share what we've actually been up to!

I started writing this blog during training camp and have been trying to finish it ever since. Here's a little overview of our five weeks in Jamaica!

Our First Week: Taking Care of Base

During our first week, my team was responsible for taking care of the base where we lived. This included daily cleaning tasks, helping set the spiritual atmosphere for the squad through prayer and encouragement notes, and managing grocery shopping and inventory for around 50 people!

I was a little preoccupied trying to figure out how to manage the budget and make sure our squad stayed within it. (How did we get here? I'm still not quite sure, haha!)

Through this week, God showed us just how important the behind-the-scenes work and little details are. No role in ministry is smaller or more significant than another. We are all part of the body of Christ, working together toward a much bigger picture.

The Next Four Weeks: Roofing and Odd Jobs

For the following four weeks, we rotated between different work projects and ended up doing roofing and other odd jobs!

We spent our time tearing old roofs off houses, replacing any moldy or damaged boards, and putting on new metal roofs made of zinc. I was still a little preoccupied with the budget until we eventually handed those responsibilities over to our treasury and hospitality teams.

Unfortunately, I also got pretty sick during our second week, so I was only able to be present for about half of the time my team spent roofing.

Even so, my team worked incredibly hard and completed several roofs! More importantly, they learned that wherever we go, our true ministry is always the people we encounter and our willingness to be obedient to what God is asking of us in each moment—even if that means leaving a task unfinished.

Coming from our American mindsets, this was sometimes difficult to embrace, but my team adapted to this new way of living so quickly. We also grew in how we communicated with one another and learned to speak our needs out loud, whether that meant asking for a break or sharing when we felt God was moving.

These are lessons I know will carry with us throughout the rest of the race. I'm so grateful God chose to teach us these things now so we can continue growing in them!

Jamaica was truly a season full of learning: learning how to lead, how to be a better part of both my racer team and SQL team, how to communicate more intentionally, and ultimately, how to live a life worthy of the calling to serve Jesus.

I'm so thankful for all that He is teaching us, and I'm excited to see how these lessons continue to shape the rest of our journey!

We are currently in Sorrento, Italy, debriefing all God has done up to this point.  We are about to head to Nepal this weekend for 2 months.  We will be under some tight rules with communication and what we share.  I am so expectant of the Lord to really show up there and move in mighty ways!!